We formally started the adoption process in late January, 2015 when we turned in our pre-application to Christian Homes and Family Services. In March, we were invited to orientation, which was held in April, 2015. We learned about the process, the paperwork and the prices for each step. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

We set a goal for ourselves to have the first half ($13,000) raised and the paperwork, classes, and background checks completed within a year of orientation. That was quite lofty, and we almost made it. We had raised the money and done the background checks by the end of April, and by the end of May, we had finished the paperwork, parenting classes and CPR/First Aid.

On Tuesday, June 14, we met with our caseworker at Christian Homes for the first part of our Home Study. The first hour, we were asked all sorts of questions together as a couple about our marriage, our parenting plans, our spiritual habits, and many other things. Then we were separated, so we could each independently answer some more questions about ourselves, each other, our marriage and lots of other things. That took about another hour and a half. The conversation when we got home was quite interesting, especially when we discovered we’d each individually given almost verbatim answers to a few of the questions. Too bad we’ve been married to long to go on the Newlywed Game! We’d have rocked the house at that game. We scheduled the home visit for two weeks from today, so we’ll finish the home study on Tuesday, June 28.

What happens after the home study? I’m glad you asked. Here is a summary of the remaining steps:

  • We will finalize our Birth Mother Letter & create photo album (portfolio)
    • We need to have this done within the next two weeks.
  • Receive approval and go on Waiting Families List
    • Should happen about 2-3 weeks after the home inspection, so by mid-July, we will be “officially” waiting.
  • When chosen as adoptive parents, we will meet with birth parent(s) to determine if it will be a good fit.
  • 24 hours later agree to placement & pay match-placement fee
  • Establish contact expectations with birth parent(s) for rest of pregnancy & after the birth.
  • Child is born.
  • Take the baby home after a 48-hour waiting period (or whatever the requirement is for the state where the child is born).
  • Finalize adoption in court 6 months later.

As the process has progressed, aside from the “process” questions answered above, there have also been a few other themes of questions that we have been asked a lot. Here are those questions and their answers. Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions that are not covered here. We are excited about the changes that are coming to our family much like parents who are expecting the “normal” way, and it is encouraging to us to know that other people care too.

“How much more does it cost?”

  • The money that we have raised so far are up-front fees that have to be paid before we can be approved for the waiting families list, which is why we wanted to have the money raised before we were ready for the home study.
  • The match-placement fee is an additional $10,000, and we will have to pay this fee whenever we are matched with a birthparent or when our child is placed with us, whichever comes first.
  • The attorney fees for finalization will be in the neighborhood of $3,000.
  • Once the home study is completed, we will be eligible to apply for grants, which Joyce will work on while she is home for summer break. We also have a garage sale planned for the next two weekends, which will help raise some of these funds. A few other fundraisers are also planned for the coming months. Going forward with a home study before we have the second half funds in hand, is definitely a leap of faith. We have felt like God has told us several times that “He is just waiting on us.” We know that the money is no barrier to Him, and when the time is right, He will provide in one way or another.

“Are you going to get a baby or an older child?”

  • On the application, we indicated that we would be willing to adopt anywhere in the newborn to 2 years old age range.

“Will you get a boy or a girl?”

  • We are not picky. We will love either a boy or a girl (or both). Just like when parents have biological children, we will be happy with whatever gender God blesses us with.

“Do you care about ethnicity?”

  • Nope! A child is a child, and we don’t care about whether they look just like us or not.

“How long will it take?”

  • That is the one question we can’t answer. It could happen right away, or we could wait for a year or more. This is where the emotional roller coaster will be the hardest to ride, and we will need your prayers as we wait and try to prepare for so many unknowns.